I couldn't wait to see friends and family. I couldn't wait to speak and hear french-canadian everywhere around me. I couldn't wait to turn on the radio or the tv and hear my language spoken by artists I know and I grew with. I couldn't wait to be fed by my mom. I couldn't wait to drive my dad's car. I couldn't wait to drink a pitcher of Molson with friends. I couldn't wait for a poutine at 4am. I could keep going like that for hours.
Now I have all that, I am not happier.
Marta told me: I feel like you are the only one that could really understand me.
I feel the same for her.
I love my friends, but I became so close of that polish freak ;) It's like no one can understand me really. No, in fact it's more because she was the only person in my life I could give a phone call anytime and meet her 10 minutes later for a drink and a chat. I feel deeply empty without her.
I left 2 very important people behind me. That's too many.
I believed in friendship for ever, even if you are far away from your friend, but love seamed to be impossible. So in two months I did my possible to proved it to myself. I met my lover again and realized I was terribly wrong. It took me about a week to first be able to turn the page. Now it's almost a month and I am far to be ale to do it again. I wont make the same mistake, that's for sure.
Our ordeal strengthens our love, which makes it even harder to live with.
Some says girls are complicated. I thinks it's only because we talk about these things. I used to keep it for my self, but it feels so much better to express it.
I feel empty and stuck.
Long life to Skype
